You don’t have to be dating in midlife to know that dating in your 20s was a whole lot easier and more fun. We all know people who are divorced, widowed or never married and we’ve all heard their common lament: It’s hard to find an interesting date when you are no longer young. Here are some of the more interesting and humorous reasons why.
Not the Louis Vuitton kind, but the range of experiences both good and bad that accumulate over the course of a person’s lifetime which affect a person’s reactions to people and circumstances. For example, if your ex-husband cheated on you with a redheaded circus performer, you might be reticent to accept an invitation from your redheaded neighbor who invited you to the circus on Saturday night. Or if your wife left you for a blond man on a Harley Davidson, you might find it difficult to enjoy the company of any woman in a biker bar, regardless of her hair color. Nobody in their twenties really has any baggage, which makes it easier to hop on a train. There are definitely fewer trains pulling into the station at midlife.
It is easy for people in their teens and 20s to be physically attracted to lots and lots of people their own age. Lots and lots of people their own age are not only physically fit, but they are at the peak of physical fitness with full heads of hair, flat washboard abs and very white teeth. Few of us in middle age would consider ourselves to be head-turners, except for the narcissists among us. But physical attractiveness is only one facet of a person or potential date out of many, thankfully.
Success and Financial Stability.
Back in high school and college, no one had any idea if a particular person would eventually become a big success or end up stuffing pimentos into olives on an assembly line for the rest of their lives. Everybody had potential. But fast forward a few decades and your date’s accomplishments or lack thereof are laid bare for all to see because at that point in life, everybody has a track record. At that point in life, hopefully your date is finally “what he wants to be when he grows up.”
Sense of Humor.
I think a sense of humor is a valuable quality in any person but it wasn’t a necessary one when we were all young. I went to school with more than a few beautiful, interesting and popular girls who had no discernible sense of humor. Same with some of the guys. But a sense of humor is perhaps the most important quality I look for in a person now that I am older and a sense of humor would make any date a whole lot more fun, especially if the date wasn’t particularly attractive or successful and had a lot of baggage.
Former Spouses or Partners.
My friends in the dating world tell me that no one wants to hear about their date’s former spouse or partner but it is probably hard to talk about your life without ever mentioning the person you shared your life with for many decades. It is no doubt even harder to feign interest in hearing about a date’s former spouse or partner, especially if the date has had more than one. More than one ex doesn’t even qualify as baggage. That’s cargo.
So hats off to all of the brave middle-aged people who decide to dip their toes back into the shark-infested dating pool. Wear that sense of humor like a life vest. We can’t let those 20-somethings have all the fun!
Reprinted with permission of The Huffington Post