ways not to be an assholeIn case you live on a commune, or are a hermit, you may not have noticed how overpopulated the world has become with assholes. People everywhere have lost the ability to be kind to one another, or think how their actions will impact another. I’ve reached my tipping point of douche baggery and now I am forced to spill my thoughts on the matter.

In the last week I have seen countless examples of people basically saying, “F#%k you!” to the needs of others. I’m not talking about upholding the 10 Commandments or anything either, I am talking about some basic tenants of society. And yes, I do realize the United States Constitution gives you certain rights, however I do not remember the right to be an asshole as one of them.

Here are just some helpful ways YOU can NOT be an asshole:

  1. Don’t park in handicap parking unless you are actually handicapped.
  2. Stop for people in the crosswalk.
  3. Allow someone to turn onto a busy road, if possible.
  4. Help a person whose car is stuck in the snow, especially if they are elderly or handicapped.
  5. Hold the door for the person behind you.
  6. Don’t cut in line.
  7. If you find something that is not yours try to find the owner.
  8. Say hi to the new kid.
  9. If you have extra food and someone is in need share it.
  10. If the person behind you in the checkout lane has 1 thing and you have 50, let them go ahead of you.
  11. Return your grocery cart to the coralle.
  12. If you are at a dining establishment and you make a mess clean it up.
  13. Do not lay on the horn if the person in front of you is 1 second late on flooring the gas at a light.
  14. Clean up after your animals, aka – my lawn is not where your dog can take a shit.
  15. Don’t litter.
  16. Lower your stereo in your car, I do not need to vibrate along to your bass.
  17. Say “Please” and “Thank You”.
  18. If the person in front of you in line needs a few cents, give it to them if you can.
  19. If a little kid is in line for the bathroom and really has to go, let them.
  20. Congratulate the other team if they win.
  21. Keep your hands to yourself at all times.
  22. Wave someone through a stop sign if you are not in a rush.
  23. If you are supposed to pick your kid up at a certain time and will be late, call – don’t assume 4 hours later is fine (it’s not).
  24. Don’t race up on the side of the highway to merge when everyone else is merging 1/2 a mile back.
  25. Give a nod/wave a thank you when someone stops their car to let you cross outside of the crosswalk.
  26. Courtesy flush if you are stink bombing the bathroom.
  27. Hold the elevator doors when you see someone trying to get on.
  28. Don’t use the last of the toilet paper without replacing it.
  29. Don’t double dip your chip, no one wants your cooties.
  30. Cover your mouth when you sneeze/cough.
  31. Stop talking on your phone when checking out in a store, on an airplane when it is time to stow it, at your kids events, etc.
  32. If your dog is barking outside bring the dog inside, your neighbors don’t want to hear Baxter.
  33. Don’t allow your kid to be a jerk to other kids.
  34. Don’t spit your gum out anywhere but the garbage.
  35. Tip those in the service industry that should be tipped – bell man, driver, waiter/waitress, etc.
  36. If you have 20 things do not get in the 12 and under checkout line.
  37. Do not EVER ask to speak to my husband about an issue you are currently talking to me about.

Sure everyone has an asshole, but let’s stop being one too.

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