Dr. Lori Kay, Phd
Summer is now here, and many of my clients face the challenge of how to enjoy their summer. This can be especially true for people who are single, recently divorced or widowed and empty nesters. Finding people to enjoy the summer with can feel challenging, but it doesn’t have to be. Here is a list of steps to follow to find your summer tribe:
Before you find your tribe, you need to do some self-reflection.
Step 1:
The question I pose to my clients is,” What do you enjoy doing?” As incredible as this may sound, many people do not have a list of 5 things they participate in and enjoy. This can be for a variety of reasons including they have spent most of their time working, raising a family or taking care of others and many other reasons. Take some time to self-reflect and think about what you enjoy doing.
If you can’t think of more than 1 or 2 things you enjoy participating in- it’s time to try some new activities.
Step 2:
Choose your activities by looking through what is going on in your city, community centers, and talk to friends for ideas and inspiration. Once you think something sounds interesting, try them out; see if you can spark a whole new level of fun for yourself.
Step 3:
Once you know what types of activities resonate with you, it is time to move from your comfortable zone into a less comfortable zone. Find a group that does your activity is one way to find your tribe. If you go to a group activity consistently, let’s use Yoga as an example, the more regularly you go, the more likely you will begin to meet people in your class. The people in your class are more likely to have some similar interests, and they can easily become part of your tribe.
If you participate in 2 different activities a week, you will meet 2 groups of people. If you continue to attend, you might find you have a tribe or 2 of people who enjoy similar things to you. Before you know it, you will have developed a group of interesting people you have things in common with and your summer will be fun and full of activity. Two years ago, one of my clients joined a walking group; she was 63 years old and widowed. She wanted to meet some active people, as she wasn’t ready to be and old senior yet! She met a wonderful group of people and ended up finding a partner, which she was not looking for, and they recently got married.
Be open to the possibilities life has in store for you. You will not find it sitting on your couch alone all summer. Go out and explore, see what you find once you take a chance and try doing something different. Create your new tribe, surround yourself with like-minded people who you share similar interest with and enjoy your summer.