For the first time in a long time I was feeling more hopeful and less afraid of what was waiting for me as I emerged from my divorce hibernation. I was thinking of new possibilities. I was feeling more comfortable with the thought of making choices for myself—without having to consider what someone else thought I should do, say or be.
As the day went on, I could breathe more freely and my neck and shoulders felt more relaxed. My energy was brighter, my heart felt lighter and I was certain something had shifted.
Although it took some time after the divorce, I now felt ready to put one foot in front of the other and take a chance on me. I felt inspired to do something to make myself feel better.
As I look back, it’s clear that I had to ride that emotional roller coaster until I found solid ground again. Only then could I move forward with a purpose that served me. I couldn’t force the process of loss, grief and loneliness. I had to go with the flow. And when I was ready, I knew it. I felt it.
When you’re ready, you’ll feel it too—that’s when investing in yourself will make sense. Give yourself a gift and incorporate these three things into your life.
3 Ideas to Help When You’re Ready for a New Start
- Invest Your Time. One of my favorite things is getting a massage or facial. It helps me relax and feel more cared for—by me. I do something for myself at least monthly. I feel even better when it’s weekly—and daily.Self-love and self-care rituals are important investments. Make time to eat well, exercise, meditate, be with friends who lift your spirit. Do those things which make you feel better and take care of your overall well-being. These investments of your time will pay huge dividends as you start your new chapter.
- Find Your Passion. In the past, I spent more time taking care of everyone else and lost touch with the things that made my heart sing. I resolved to never let go of my passions again. Now, I tap into my creative juices every chance I get. Designing floral arrangements, crocheting projects and interior home accessorizing are my passions again.What did you love to do and haven’t done in a long time? Tune into what you’re passionate about. Engage in a hobby. Find a group to go hiking. Have you always wanted to turn pottery? Do that. Do you love to meet new people? Start a group of like-minded people and meet regularly. Including activities in your life which you’re passionate about fills a special space in your heart each and every time you engage in them.
- Invest Your Money on You. One of the most valuable investments I made for myself was joining a group program facilitated by a coach. Being with a community of like-minded women expanded my understanding of what was going on in my head and my heart.My coach taught techniques to breakthrough old stories and beliefs that no longer served me well. She helped me reach beyond my comfort zone, feel the fear and do it anyway—all of which helped me regain my confidence. In a short time, my perspective changed. I saw things differently. I became happy with myself. The prospect of a being alone and feeling fulfilled grabbed a hold of me. Everyone noticed. My career made a leap forward, too. The lessons I learned have been in my toolbox ever since.
Who doesn’t want to get through a major life transition, like divorce, easier and faster? When you’re ready, invest your time, energy and money in yourself. They will become among the most rewarding investments you’ll ever make.
Working with a coach or mentor who understands what you’re going through, can help you to recognize and honor you own values. She can guide you to create a crystal clear vision for the future you deserve, and help you to infuse your new life with your most passion-filled activities. You’ll soon unwrap the gift of a new start to a life where you can THRIVE.
Think about joining a group or going to a workshop led by a coach who has been where you are and will pave the way for you.
What can you do today that your future self will thank you for?
María Tomás-Keegan is a certified Life Transition Coach and Mentor, specializing in Divorce Recovery. She helps women design a new life based on their values, vision and passions—the foundation of her Signature Program.