PsychicIt’s nearing the end 2016:  That’s more than two years further removed from 1985 than Marty McFly was in 1955 when he went Back to the Future. The original Karate Kid is now older than Mr. Miyagi was in the movie. And Home Alone was released closer to the moon landing than to now (thanks, Buzzfeed)

Ew…Feeling a little old?  Yeah, me too.  But if you don’t want to seem old, you’ve GOT to watch what you say! Here are just a few examples of statements and questions that I have heard out of my very own mouth (and from friends and acquaintances) in the past few weeks…all of which I think immediately age you:

  1. I like your thongs (meaning flip flops)
  2. I have never worn a thong (meaning underwear)
  3. You sound like a broken record (self explanatory)
  4. I’d like to pay cash for that
  5. I’m on The Facebook (or The Twitter, or The Google)
  6. We have to do “cyber” better (thanks, Donald Trump)
  7. My flip phone is just fine (no, it isn’t.)
  8. I hate f&*king computers! (that’s not allowed)
  9. I forgot my shopping list
  10. I don’t know how to use most of my apps
  11. What is Venmo?  (Please)
  12. Let me just check my watch
  13. How do I watch Showtime?
  14. I don’t drive at night
  15. What’s a Twitter handle?
  16. What is anime and manga?
  17. What’s the deal with this cold brew coffee?
  18. I just don’t have the stamina
  19. How do you find the time for Pinterest/Instagram?
  20. How can you read all of that on your phone????
  21. Just a minute- I need to find where that camera app is on my phone
  22. I’m going to pick up that delicious chocolate cake at Costcos
  23.  Can you teach me how to tape that show?
  24. LOL stands for Lots Of Love, right?
  25. All my friends are dead

What have you heard (or said) recently?  Please, feel free to add to my list…there’s plenty I missed!

25 Questions And Statements That Immediately Age You was last modified: October 5th, 2016 by Ronna Benjamin

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Ronna Benjamin
Ronna Benjamin

After 28 years of practicing real estate law, Ronna Benjamin realized how much she loved writing and how much she hated lawyering. She jumped into the world of writing at Better After 50 and never looked back! She is loving her “second act” as Partner and Managing Editor at Better After 50. Ronna writes humorously about the things BA50s are concerned about – personal experiences with adult children, the quirks of aging parents and in-laws, and her own emotional and physical health issues (i.e., insomnia, anxiety, and bulging waist lines). A native Bostonian who loves to spend time with her husband and three adult children, Ronna also enjoys sailing, cooking, running, and biking–and she tolerates skiing so she is not left home during family vacations. Check out her new book “We Are Better After 50 Because…” co-written by Ronna and her BA50 Partner Felice Shapiro, a perfect gift for the birthday girl in her 50’s!

13 Responses

  1. Roz Warren
    roz warren Reply

    I just didn’t have the stamina to get through that list. Just kidding. Read them all and didn’t recognize myself once! (Is telling obvious lies a sing of aging?)

  2. Haralee Reply

    I am so old! Had to look up Venmo and I don’t really care about the differences between Manga and Anime. I am beyond old. I think I am a high functioning ANCIENT woman!

    • Ronna Benjamin
      Ronna Benjamin Reply

      Ha Ha…well if I am honest, I had “it’s the end of 2017” when I published the piece, and someone pointed out that it was only 2016…so I guess that is the most telling sign of age yet

  4. Kathy Gottberg
    Kathy @ SMART Living 365 Reply

    Hey Ronna! I passed just about all of them fine…until you got to the Costco one. I’m a HUGE Costco fan and if that makes me sound older oh well. Besides, we don’t have to open our mouths for most millennials to think we are ancient anyway. ~Kathy

  6. Clare Garfield
    Clare Garfield Reply

    Have no idea what Venmo is! But how about “You’re too young to remember this, but…”

  8. Mary Reply

    I’ve occasionally joked that I’m gonna create a T-shirt and paint the following on it: “Top Ten Funny Things That Happen When You Get Older” with numbers 1 through 5 on the front, 6 through 10 on the back: people will be offering suggestions while we stand on the Costco checkout line. Things like “As long as my socks match, it’s a good day;” “You can’t get up from the sofa without making that sound;” “I wear comfortable granny panties, and Oprah can go jump in a lake;” “Men start wearing their pants belt up by their sternum;”. “I try to make my tortillas/bake bread early in the day before I get too tired;” “taking a nap in the afternoon once in a while is a luxury (or going to bed on time);” “You meet people younger than you who never heard of Kruschev or the Cuban missile crisis, or who John and Paul are, and make you feel like you have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel” “Any day you have a good bowel movement is a good day;” “You find out that you didn’t really lose that hair, it just moved to your face.” Feel free to contribute.

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