For most of us 50+ single women or those in less than satisfying relationships, we find ways to zig zag around the Valentine’s Day romantic hype. We shut down Ed Sheeran, Enrique Iglesias and Barry White for the day and hope the gym we go to is smart enough to do the same.
The danger comes when we stuff down a box of chocolates or hit the Ben and Jerry aisle. Why? These are momentary pleasures that make us even more miserable, remembering we wouldn’t be doing this if we were wrapped in someone’s arms.
Now, as a health coach, I don’t place taboos on chocolate or ice cream ever. It’s just that eating them to stuff pain or distract ourselves from pain or lonliness is not the time I say to go for it. Rather, when you’re feeling really good is the ideal time to take a taste, because then it won’t be a box or a carton you’ll be eating. See the difference?
Don’t Ignore Sweetness
That said, I wouldn’t suggest for a moment that any of us should do without the experience of sweetness on Valentine’s Day, or any day, for that matter. It’s just the what and the how you get that lucious moment of pleasure that matters. I have 4 ideas:
1. Find your favorite place and experience it
1000 miles away? Visualize it. Drop yourself into an easy meditation and smell the smells of that favorite place, virtually “look around” and take in the scenery. Remind yourself why you like it so much. Experience the essence of it from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. Or go to that favorite sanctuary. I have one right in Westwood. Where is yours?
2. Make yourself your favorite meal
Love Chilean sea bass like me? $24.99 a pound? So what! You deserve it when you want to feel especially cared for. Pair it with fresh vegetables and a glass of your favorite wine. Savor.
3. Self pleasure
Yes. There it is. Do this in whatever way will lift you up, connect you with the wonderful body that is yours. Be grateful for all that your body does for you.
Not about pain. Make it all about gratitude. We all need to heal from the crappy things that may have come our way in the love department, but Valentine’s Day is not the time to do it. Write about the amazing experiences you have had in the love department and what you envision going forward. We know it is never too late. Never.
All of these actions will bring you a sense of sweetness and care. After all, that’s what we want from a lover, so why shouldn’t we be giving it to ourselves?
What’s one thing you will do to feel that sweetness?