Many years ago, I remember reading a bathroom book that explained facetiously that calories didn’t count in certain situations: when you eat standing up, when it is your birthday, when you just have a bite of someone else’s dessert…. and so on.
Lately, as you may have read, I have been living in a world of alternative facts. My post was so well received last week that I figured I could milk this theme a little more.
So, I’ve been racking my brain trying to think about all the new places and situations that women find themselves in after age 50, where calories absolutely shouldn’t count, should they?:
- After the second glass of wine
- When you eat your meal while walking on the treadmill (yup, it’s been done)
- When consumed in a pool
- When consumed while driving (not to be confused with being a passenger– those calories count)
- When its a “healthy” fat
- In bed.
- After a colonoscopy
- Before a colonoscopy
- For exactly one year after your last cancer treatment
- When consumed with chopsticks
- If you eat celery first
- When it’s medical marijuana edibles
- When taken with medication
- At a shiva or wake
- On a boat, plane, train, or other moving vehicle
- If you are consuming food in the company of people you really don’t enjoy being with
- When the food has previously been in a garbage can
- When the food is beyond the expiration date
- At the coffee shop which was the destination of your power walk
- When its a prune, prune like, or otherwise designed to “make you go”
- When it’s food on the plate that a child (or grandchild) did not finish
- At your retirement party…or anyone’s retirement party
- While watching the Super Bowl– especially during overtime!
Tell me…when do YOU think calories shouldn’t count after age 50?