Every so often, I get really into a Buzzfeed article. I don’t go around talking about it, because I’m a little embarrassed that I (sometimes) read Buzzfeed (only after reading the Times, the WSJ, and finishing the current issue of the New Yorker, of course.) But the articles often make me laugh. The other day, I clicked through to a somewhat inappropriate article. It was all about “Damn You Auto-text!” type conversations, and it totally cracked me up. I sent it to my partner at BA50, thinking we could use it somehow. Her response: “noooooooo, you’re going nutso,” was not enthusiastic, at least not in a good way.
But a couple of weeks ago I came across a BuzzFeed article that stuck with me. It was called 24 Types of Friends Everyone Has In Their Group. The article itself was pretty un-relatable to me at midlife. I don’t have a friend that is always filming a documentary. I don’t have a friend that I always have to feed. I don’t have a friend that always wants to take a selfie. Nor do I have a friend that always has a smashed phone. The article was clearly not written for the BA50 woman.
But for some reason, I couldn’t get this article out of my head. I started categorizing my own friends, all of whom I love dearly, but most off whom have their little quirks (who doesn’t?) … I asked around, and started jotting down my own list. And here it is: 24 Types of Friends Everyone Will Recognize at Midlife:
1. The Friend that writes fabulous handwritten notes, on beautiful stationery.
2. The Friend that does what you do for work, only she does it a lot better than you.
3. The Friend that always orders a Diet Coke, no matter what. Even if everyone else is having red wine. Even when she does not have an alcohol problem.
4. The Friend that’s always late. I have already written a blog post about friends that are late that got me into a bit of hot water, so I don’t care to elaborate.
5. The Friend who wants to stay out when everyone else wants to go home to bed.
6. The Friend that can eat anything they want…except they rarely want to eat very much. (I secretly hate these friends.)
7. The Friend that can always be counted on to do the right thing.
8. The Friend that always shares their fabulous new recipes, even before you ask.
9. The Friend that you count on to send you really funny things on the internet.
10. The Friend that you can count on to say something totally outrageous.
11. The Friend that is an exercise nut.
12. The Friend whose alias could be Debby Downer.
13. The Friend who always does the right thing (when she is not organizing a blood drive, she is visiting the elderly.)
14. The Friend whose kids—all of them, all the time- walk on water. Check them out on Facebook!
15. The Friend who has the highest moral standards of anyone you know.
16. The Friend you always share your deepest secrets with
17. The Friend you would never share your deepest secrets with
18. The Friend that always makes– then cancels– plans
19. The Friend that posts so much to Facebook, you just about know when they go to the bathroom.
20. The Friend that knows how to give the perfect gift.
21. The Friend that really knows how to dress.
22. The Friend that drives sooooooo slow you won’t let them drive. Thanks, no, I don’t need a ride.
23. The Friend that tells the BEST jokes.
24. The Friend that is just a little bit passive aggressive. That’s me, putting in the link at the beginning of the piece to the Buzzfeed article my partner hated…) But I only included that link because I really want to be #10.