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online-datingAs a dating coach for women at midlife, I love helping with online dating success. Many women find online dating to be very frustrating, especially when they encounter men on motorcycles, guys showing off their gun collections, and shirtless dudes displaying their ample beer bellies.

Yes, there will always be men who are overtly sexual and those who lack social graces – online or offline. But there are also many wonderful men out there. Here’s the thing: online dating is one of the most successful ways to find love after 40, 50, 60 and beyond. If you’re not dating online, you’re missing wonderful opportunities to find love.  Now’s the time to find to do a little research and find the best seniors dating sites.

Today, a majority of marriages and long-term relationships begin with online dating. If you want to find love, online dating should be part of your strategy. Love has very little to do with luck. It has more to do with skill and knowledge. That’s why I’m sharing some of my best tips to help you find love online.

7 Tips For Online Dating Success After 50

1. Pay attention to what he writes in the relationship section. The guys who write that they’re looking for friends, activity partners, and casual dating are being honest. You might be looking for the same thing. If so, that’s great. Go out and have fun. But if you’re interested in a more serious relationship, look for signs in his profile. Most men who are looking for the real deal will be clear about that in their profiles. (You should be, too.)

2. Write a profile essay that is unique, fun, and SHORT. In this fast-paced world of short attention spans, most people will say “Next!” if they see a long essay. Keep it short and sweet. You want to convey that you’re interesting, fun, and unique. Share the qualities that set you apart from other women. Write a list of your top five character traits and tell one-sentence stories about each. Show, don’t tell. If you like to travel, talk about your favorite trip and why you loved it. Keep it to 150-200 words maximum if you want your essay to be read, not skipped over.  Need more help?  Check out these tips.

3. Don’t put negative statements in your profile. Many women write what they don’t want in a man. “No angry men. No men with financial issues. No men with blue shirts (just kidding).” These statements are big red flags. A man might write you off as a bitter woman who hasn’t worked through her past relationships. Have you ever had a first phone conversation with a man who spewed bitterness about his ex-wife? Bye-bye bitter guy, right? Work out your “stuff” before dating. Keep your profile positive. If and when you’re in a serious relationship, you can reveal the complexities of your life.

4. DO put positive and clear statements about what kind of guy you ARE looking for. If you’re clear about the type of man you’re attracted to, that guy will eventually show up and read your essay. He’ll recognize himself in your words and write to you. So don’t be afraid to be super clear about the character traits you love in a guy. This will also help you weed out the wrong men.

5. Photos, photos, photos. Men are very visual. Your first impression is made through your pics. Make sure your pictures are current, varied, and show you at your best. He doesn’t need to meet your three best friends or your kids before he meets you, so your photos should be of you alone. Make sure to include a full body shot. There’s nothing worse than meeting someone for the first time and they look nothing like their photos. And post a few pics of your travels or you doing a hobby or sport you love. The best picture tells a story, one that he can comment on in his first email to you.

6. Choose an effective username. Many people don’t put much thought into their username/screen name. They often just use the default numbers given to them by the online dating site. This is a lost opportunity. Your screen name says something about your personality. So choose a name that is fun and male-friendly, such as IHeartHockey or NoDramaQueen. Or incorporate a hobby into your username. Are you a dancer? You can try something like, DanceWithMe.

7. Curiosity is the goal. Your online profile is a small snippet of your life. This is just a little taste of who you are. You are not selling him on your whole package. You just want to pique his curiosity. So reveal just enough to make him want to know more.

Put your best self forward through your photos, screen name, essays, and the emails you write. A proactive woman has the best chance at finding love online after 50.

 

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