Stupid Remarks and The People who make them! Arrgh!
You have a friend, colleague, family member who tends to be bitchy, selfish, whiny and needy – more often than seems appropriate.
These kinds of people cause others distress. And their methods for causing stress are immense.
A case in point: your friend announces that she has an important event coming up in her honour.
This friend has no plans for the event, but insists that all planning is up to her.
Because virtually no plans have been made, you end up making alternative plans with someone else – on the same day your friend suddenly decides to hold her event.
She finds out. And she is livid!
” I assumed you’d be around for my event!”
“Have a swell time with the other plans you’ve made!”
This kind of idiot-laden remark, sprinkled with guilt-promoting ploys, is as dumb as it sounds.
Call it the Bullshit Comment. It’s a tactic. A scheme. Game playing. A guilt grabber. A foul ball. Selfish.
How do you react when you’re on the receiving end?
You can respond with anger, and defend yourself. You can start a fight. You can raise your blood pressure.
I enjoy another kind of technique.
Let it Hang.
Think of the spider web, lazily dangling. I have many spider webs floating around my house. Despite their testament to my lack of cleaning prowess, dangling spiderwebs are a reminder that you gotta let a lot ‘go’ in this life, and that includes bullshit comments.
The “Let It Hang” Method:
- After receiving A BS Comment, shut your mouth. Clamp it shut, if necessary. Bite your tongue. Do whatever you need to do, to stay quiet and calm.
- Let there be silence.
- This silence is as uncomfortable to the offender as bunion surgery, as confusing as speaking Spanish to a Spaniel. But stay quiet. Feign nonchalance. Pretend you didn’t even hear the comment at all. (Smart people don’t respond to BS Comments. Have you noticed?)
This tactic is super effective.
You are, in effect, leaving the bullshit comment for the other person to fix. You did nothing wrong. They did.
If the person is of sound character and integrity, they’ll quickly understand that your silence is their error. They will apologize for the folly of their self-indulgent claptrap.
Letting it hang shows others that you have power, proves that you’re not a doormat. Doormats endure BS Comments as though it’s their birthright. But door-mat-ery is tomfoolery!
When a BS Comment hangs, it grows in stature, large and ugly like a yellow, overgrown toenail, hard to ignore. Oooh this silence is weird!
Let the offender live with that discomfort. Let them squirm.
You need never tolerate, defend or condone BS Comments.
With silence, by not dignifying the comment with a response, you have, in effect, passed the buck back to the person who has selfishly made you feel blue.
Let the other person stew over what they said to you.
The next move is for them to do.
This article was first published on, and Abby blogs at stressbubbles.com