Valentine’s Day is two days away. Are you freaking out or looking forward to it? This holiday means different things to different people. If you’re in a good relationship, it can be a wonderful excuse to take time out and celebrate your partnership with a yummy meal, a gift of appreciation, or another loving gesture. Or it could mean disappointment that your spouse/partner/lover totally forgot that it was Valentine’s Day and made no plans at all. Uh oh.
For many singles, it can be a stressful time, a day where you feel sad that you don’t have a significant other in your life. All the advertisements about love can be overwhelming. It seems like everyone has love but you.
They don’t. It only looks that way on TV. Valentine’s Day has become a Hallmark Holiday, a day to sell lots of cards about love and hike up the prices on chocolate hearts, red roses, and jewelry. So if you’re single, instead of feeling bad, I invite you to make a choice to have fun instead. Invite your single friends over and throw yourselves a Single and Smashing party with wine, delicious food, and a funny movie. Or take a luxurious bath with bubbles. Get a massage, a mani-pedi, a makeover.
Whether you’re celebrating with your partner or your friends, Valentine’s Day can also serve as a reminder of what’s really important in our lives; the golden ticket that so many of us are striving for – a healthy relationship that lasts. There are some couples who have been together 40, 50, even 60 years. Have you ever wondered how they stay together for such a long time? With the high divorce rate in our society and our seemingly disposable relationships, how do some couples have a love that lasts while others struggle to make it through a few dates?
I stayed married for 23 years, working hard to keep a marriage together when we were so mismatched. After my divorce, I set out to learn the keys to a lasting relationship. I wanted to understand why people were struggling so much in their relationships. I wanted to know why so many women were complaining that it’s so hard to find a good man.
What I discovered was that love is an inside job.
It starts with knowing and loving ourselves. When we love ourselves first, we take care of ourselves. We know how to set loving boundaries with the people in our lives. And we begin to magnetize the loving relationship we yearn for.
The Secrets to Lasting Love
Like many of you, I did not grow up with an ideal model for the healthy relationship I was seeking. I love my parents, and I acknowledge that they did the best they could. Yes, there was love in my home, but there was also a lot of conflict and anger, which eventually caused their divorce after 29 not-so-great years. And while arguing is a natural part of any intimate honest relationship, how you fight and resolve conflict are key to the quality of your relationships. If you know how to fight well, you will have a much closer, kinder, more loving relationship.
Check out this video I made about the secrets to lasting love. And please share your thoughts on what YOU think is the secret to healthy, lasting, loving relationships.
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