I admit it – I’m a sucker for a real life love story. No, I’m not talking about the Hollywood/Disney “some day your prince will come” type of love story. I’m referring to what happens in real life when two grownup people fall in love. These types of true love stories can be so uplifting. They can restore hope to those who have given up on love. And for those already in happy loving relationships, isn’t it great to know you’re in good company?
A Real Life Love Story
This is a story about a beautiful dark-haired beauty I’ll call Lynn. Fifteen years ago, as a single 30 year-old mom raising a toddler, the last thing on her mind was dating. So she spent the first few years post-divorce getting her life together before going on her first date.
When she was ready to date again, she signed up for a profile on Match.com. She met many nice men, but no one special. After a few months, she met a hot guy and had her first long-term relationship post-divorce. It was purely physical, and that’s just what she needed at the time. Sometimes you need to have spectacular sex after divorce to reconfirm that you’re still sexy, right? However, without any deep connection, the relationship eventually lost its luster. She broke up with stud-muffin, and was now ready for a loving, lasting relationship with a man of substance.
Lynn dated online for many years, and met men who were sweet and kind, but something important was always missing. These men were not the right fit. Just as she was growing tired of Match and JDate and was ready to throw in the towel on online dating, a friend suggested she go on OKCupid.
“I don’t want to spend any more money on online dating sites!” said Lynn.
“You don’t have to. OKCupid is free!” said her friend.
So, with much trepidation, Lynn signed on to OKCupid. As a new subscriber, she got hundreds of emails. As she sorted through them, she was not impressed. No one stood out. It was pretty much the same old, same old.
And then she spotted one profile that caught her eye. His profile photo was outstanding – a very debonair man in a tuxedo! She was intrigued. As she read his beautifully crafted words, she thought, “This guy is smart and articulate, and he sure is cute. I think I’ll send him an email.”
And that’s when she noticed where he lived… across the pond in England!
“Oh well. This will never work. I’ll just send him a quick note to tell him how adorable I think he is. It can’t hurt.” She sent the email and to her surprise, “Jack” wrote back.
They continued writing each other. Even though they thought they’d probably never meet, it was fun. Lots of flirting, no pressure, what the heck…
And then Lynn turned 40. Jack noticed her birthday had passed because her profile was updated.
“So, you just had a birthday, huh? How are you celebrating?” he asked one day.
“Not doing much.”
“How would you like a visit?” asked Jack.
So, Jack flew across the Atlantic to Connecticut and booked a room at a nearby hotel (just in case he turned out to be a serial killer, Lynn joked).
The rest is history. Lynn was glowing as she described how it felt to be in love.
Jack has been coming in once a month for the past seven months, and he’s moving to New York soon so he can be close by. They’ve already met and fallen in love with each other’s families.
I saw his photo. He IS handsome. And I can only imagine how sexy he is combined with that British accent.
I share Lynn and Jack’s story because I want to restore some hope to those of you who may think that love stories like these only happen on the big screen. They happen in real life, too. You can learn from Lynn and Jack about how to create your own love story.
How to create YOUR love story
1. Lynn took a chance on a guy who lived thousands of miles away. Jack did the same. Date outside of your comfort zone. Whether it’s about expanding your geographic preference, age range, or height preferences, the more open you can be, the more you open yourself to opportunities to find love.
2. They were both very relaxed. No pressure, no sense of urgency or neediness is key in dating. No wishful thinking, no projecting or fantasizing leads to a better dating experience. Go on every date hoping you’ll make a nice connection, but don’t expect every date to be the “one” or you’ll burn out in a very short time period.
3. They were both willing to make a big effort to make a long-distance relationship work. Long distance relationships are not simple. They require some effort. But if you both want it to work, it can work. The key is to have an end goal. At some point, one of you will have to move. Try and figure that part out as soon as possible, or you’ll get to an impasse later on that could mean the end of the relationship.
4. They were both on the same page in terms of commitment. You can learn pretty quickly if the person you’re dating is looking for a serious relationship or just playing the field. If you’re both dating with the same intent, you will have a much higher rate of success (and fewer surprises).
Are you ready to create your own love story? Do you know anyone who fell in love after divorce or loss? Please share your thoughts below. I want to hear from you!
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