Something so trivial, something that would have been so insignificant meant so much today. After a 19 year marriage ending, after dating so many men and nothing working out, after picking myself up and relocating to a different state, after having the mindset that “whatever bad can happen, will happen” finally, something so minute occurred and changed my whole mindset.
My coffee maker broke. It was barely over a week old and it stopped working. All I wanted was my lousy one cup of morning coffee and the damn thing wouldn’t spit out the water. I was so pissed. Of course, I immediately recognized it to be, as always, just one more bad thing happening in my unlucky life. I was getting used to it. I had thrown out the box. I couldn’t return it. I was so frustrated and angry. I tried percussion maintenance – that didn’t work. I tried unplugging and letting it rest. That didn’t work. I tried changing the water. Nothing worked.
I sat in front of my computer, since I now had time to do nothing since I didn’t have my morning coffee to drink. I decided to go on the internet and look up trouble shooting for this very specific problem. I knew it was useless and hopeless, but had nothing to lose. I watched a youtube of a child fixing his mother’s coffee pot. I figured I could at least give it a try even though I knew in the depths of my soul, that it wouldn’t work.
So I got a paperclip, unfolded it and stuck it up the water shooter-thing. The water started to dribble out, but not very fast. I did it again and again.
All of a sudden, my coffee machine was working.
This meant not having to take it back to the store. Not begging them to accept it without the box. No hassle. Also, what it meant was the bad that could have happened, didn’t. Wow.
That tiny little break made me realize I could fix stuff. I actually had the ability to alter “bad happenings”. I didn’t have to just accept what had happened and throw it out. I just needed to spend a few moments actually paying attention and trying to fix it. I needed not to throw in the towel. I needed to keep the faith that I had some control and that I could actually change something. It was within my power.
What I realized was my shitty occurrences and situations in my life didn’t need to be a “just throw it away” circumstance. I needed to stop and be mindful that continuing to try was needed. I needed to take the time to just be positive and have faith. Just a little faith.