I have heard the kids are all going Brazilian. When I first heard that term, I loved the exotic sound of it but was soon left mouth agape upon full disclosure of what it truly meant. Ok this is it for those BA50s like me who weren’t aware of the full meaning —- no pubic hair – fully stripped, bald, clean as a whistle where every single hair is ripped away from front to back except for a neatly trimmed “landing strip” in the front (or no landing strip at all).
I had gone to hear a reading of the Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues in 1998 and I remember Marisa Tomei reading about her boyfriend wanting her to be clean – no hair – and I was aghast – I thought it sounded like her boyfriend must be some kind of pedophile– I read recently in Psychology Today that fully shorn pubic areas have subliminally encouraged men to fantasize about being with young girls …So trust me—a Brazilian was not on my “to do” list.
Well, my girlfriend, just 0ver 50 and recently divorced told me her new boyfriend thought it was sexy to have a Brazilian. OMG I thought, I have walked the nudist beaches and seen body parts I chose to block out – Suffice it to say I know what’s happening to my upper lids – drooping skin and folds – so don’t tell me you’ve gone and fully exposed your southern hemisphere. Yes she said with a smirk and frankly it was great for US. Whoah !
Fast forward to the holidays 2011 when I went for my regular eyebrow waxing. I love this aesthetician – she is Brazilian by the way. She is spunky and fun and always full of great stories. A few times a year I get a bikini wax when I am feeling courageous… the “traditional” follow-the-panty-line version. During a transitional moment — I had just turned 50 — I ventured from just a “clean up” to a landing strip…(my version) just narrowing the hairline …nothing dramatic. That was the term I used. Just thought I should “ramp” it up a bit! It was a tad more painful than the usual but made me feel like I was being a bit edgy. Surprisingly, I kinda liked it.
Yesterday, I went back for the eye brows and well – my usual aesthetician had some extra time. So I figured, what the heck, it’s 2012, I’m a proud BA50, , let’s do the landing strip again like we did last year. And so she started —- OMG, sweat from my brow, ripping – OUCH – tearing at me again and again. What was I thinking… this was WAY more painful than I remembered….Why? Oh it’s been so long she told me… you haven’t been here in ages. Ok so it’s my fault. Fine. I made jokes, there is real pain in the world- who cares about my temporary discomfort – I give blood, go to the dentist, experienced childbirth (a long time ok but still….), I can do this. Fifteen minutes later she was done.
I looked down and my jaw dropped. I was BALD , except for a very very VERY thin line of hair and then NADA, Nothing!!! Bald ( I said that already).
“What is this?” I blurted out – “What is this – is this a Brazilian???”
“Yes of course.” – “But I said a Landing Strip!!”
“Oohh but this is a Brazilian Landing strip!”
And she laughed and I did too –out of nervousness.
I wasn’t mad, but felt slightly alarmed and ridiculous like a 50-year-old wearing hot pants or going pole dancing. I had gone to the other side. I felt slightly outrageous and mildy racy. My husband was away on a business trip – I called him and told him that I have a strange new coiff and he should hurry home; He had no idea what I was talking about – I didn’t tell him. For now, I am walking around with my secret and am slightly amused, slightly weirded out and curious about what it will be like with him.
I’ll get back to you on that. Question is — is this another experiment of what can be Betterafter50?