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being happy and sexyCongratulations! You’ve survived the Holiday season. The Holidays can be a challenge for singles, but it’s far better to be single than to settle for the wrong mate. If your New Year’s resolution is to find love this year, I believe you must begin with you. Be happier with yourself. Yes, I know that sounds like a big old cliché. It just happens to be a simple truth. When you’re truly happy with your life, you will attract the highest quality mate. To be happier, refocus your life by considering the following tips.

5 Keys for Staying Happy (and Sexy) in the New Year

#1: Develop an attitude of gratitude.

If you only earned a few thousand more a month, you’d be so much less stressed. If you only had a loving partner, your life would be so much more complete. If you could only travel more often like your friends, your life would be so much more exciting. Are you upset that you don’t have what others have? Develop an attitude of gratitude instead of regrets, and you will likely attract a healthy, happy partner in 2014.

Exercise: Take a moment to focus on appreciating what you have, not what you don’t have. Comparison is a happiness killer. It might help to keep a gratitude journal. You might want to take a few minutes before bed to write down the parts of your day that you’re celebrating. Develop an attitude of gratitude, not comparisons, and you’ll be so much happier.

#2: Focus on the positive.

Perhaps you are attracted to happy people and wonder why they get to be so lucky. Why is their life so much better than yours? Why do they have more money, more balanced kids, more supportive parents, healthier relationships, better friends, etc.? I hate to break it to you, but it’s not usually about better luck. In fact, their lives may not be as “perfect” as you think. Everyone has their share of s%^*t.  Happy people focus on the positives more than the negatives. So, stop comparing your life to others and focus on what’s working in your life.

Exercise: Every time you find yourself focusing on judgment, negativity, or feeling less than someone else, STOP. Take a breath. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” Then bring your attention to what you’d like to be feeling. Put your focus there, and you’ll make a choice to live a more empowered life, knowing you can change your focus to the positive at any time.

#3: Live in the now.

The best way to begin to find true happiness is to stop looking for it. Happiness is already in you, waiting to be uncovered. To be truly happy is to unblock the shields to your happiness, uncover the joy within, and share that joy with others. As a happier person, you will become a magnet for positive people and attract a wonderful mate.

Exercise: Every time you’re at a red light, take a minute to think of something good in your life. In the exercise for key #1, I suggested a gratitude journal. That’s a great tool for keeping a record of the things you’re grateful for. This exercise is about bringing your conscience towards the good throughout your day. If you are not in your car, find another daily activity that you do mindlessly – check Facebook or Twitter – and use that as a moment to focus on the good in your life.

#4: Focus on the person you want to attract.

Giving someone your undivided attention makes him or her feel special. Your aura of happiness will rub off. You will become irresistible because you are positive and giving to another. Sharing joy is sexy!

Exercise: Next time you’re on a date, be a great listener before making yourself heard. Smile, reflect on what your date is saying, and mirror his/her body language. Your date will think he/she has had the greatest time with you simply because of your positive focus.

#5: Simplify your life.

Get rid of negative energy. Drop resentments and assumptions. Focus on happiness NOW. If you want a happy life and a joyous relationship, share the happiness that is within yourself, and do it right now. Do it with clarity and focus. Get rid of all black holes of energy and anyone who drains you.

Exercise: Are you saying “yes” to activities that drain you? Next time someone asks you to do something that you don’t want to do, say, “I’ll get back to you within a day.” Having 24 hours to think it over helps you to stop being a people pleaser. Stop saying “yes” when you want to scream “no!” The simplest way to say no is, “That won’t work for me, but thanks anyway.” Practice saying ‘”no” to the things that drain your energy and “yes” to the things that make you happier.

As Gandhi so eloquently said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Improve your level of happiness and you’ll soon reap the benefits of the joy you attract into your life.

Wishing you a joyous, sexy, love-filled 2014 – no matter what state of relationship you’re in!

What’s one thing you do to be happier? Please share your thoughts.

Want to know more about how I can help you find love this year? For your complimentary 15-minute coaching consult, contact me here:

For a copy of my FREE report, “The Top Three Mistakes Midlife Daters Make (and how to turn them around to find love now)” please click here.

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