Being a Benjamin, by name alone I should be able to come up with a few funny things about money. As it turns out, while there appears to be plenty of “funny money” out there, there’s not much to laugh about. Maybe it’s because we are on the brink of another governmental shut down and we’re all a little tense, but when I asked my friends what they hated about fashion, they wouldn’t shut up. When I asked them what was funny (ha, ha funny or strange funny) about money, I got one comment: “It does not buy anything anymore! There is not enough to help people in need here, but always plenty to print for federal assistance! Share!” That is so not funny.
Money brings out the best in us and the worst in us, but discussions about money tend to not end in a belly laugh, unless of course, you read my article about being shopping impaired– that was pretty funny. Despite the old adage, money may bring us some temporary happiness, but it also makes us feel jealous, angry, bitter, mean, ungrateful, insecure and unsatisfied. Money is complex and confusing – so confusing that in one week I came up with 25 questions—yeah, I know–all “first world” questions, but that’s where I’m living, so no apologies. I hope you can help me out :
1. Why do we call our paper money “paper money?” If it were paper and not rags, that $20 in your jeans would disintegrate when you put it through the washing machine and dryer (and isn’t it so cool that it doesn’t?)
2. Is there anything better than finding a quarter at the bottom of your purse when you need it to feed the meter?
3. Cancel #2. Is there anything better than those new meters that take credit cards?
4. How much do you love finding $10 in the pocket of the fall jacket that you haven’t worn since last October?
5. Why do we take free stuff we know we will never use? For goodness sake, I’d grab free diaper cream samples if someone were handing them out. (And I actually did bring home Boudreaux’s Butt Paste from a recent conference.)
6. Why are women better tippers than men, except in fancy restaurant bathrooms (and really, why do we need bathroom attendants in the first place)?
7. My mother always told me that one does not tip the hairdresser who owns her own shop, but why does that feel so wrong?
8. Who are these people who buy a dress, wear it once with the tags still on it, and then return it? Ew.
9. Why does any discussion about finances beyond “Can you make change for a twenty?” make me feel like an idiot?
10. Why do I no longer mind putting in all my credit card information and address when shopping online?
11. How do they get away with charging $6.99 for a three cent bag of popcorn at the Red Sox game (don’t get me started on the movies—I just haven’t been in a while)?
12. Is there anything that makes you feel more petty than having to remind a friend three times that they owe you $20?
13. Is there anything more annoying than friend who doesn’t pay you back without a reminder?
14. How come every time the bill comes, I have to go to the bathroom?
15. Why can’t I get out of Costco without spending $300?
16. Why is refinancing our homes so cumbersome, annoying and time consuming?
17. If I were the homeless man who found a backpack full of money, would I have returned it?
18. Why does it piss me off so much when someone gives me five nickels instead of a quarter?
19. Why do they even bother to make pennies anymore?
20. Why do I get a rush every time I pay by Fast Pass on the Mass Pike?
21. How dare they make movie theaters where the seats cost over $20?
22. How did my mom buy something by accident on line?
23. Am I supposed to be happy when someone gives me a Kennedy half dollar? (it doesn’t fit in a meter, does it?)
24. Why do I enjoy spending $20 on crap I don’t need at the Dollar Store or Christmas Tree Shop?
25. Why am I so happy when I find that perfect piece of clothing (the “go-to” suit, the dress that makes you feel like a million bucks) even if it wasn’t on sale?
On that front, I can’t help but put in a plug for a recent purchase I made last week from one of our BA50 sponsors, Mariwear. Here’s why:
- OMG the bottoms are so silky smooth;
- I don’t need to wear a bra because it has one built in;
- I can wear it in the house— or out;
- When I wear it, I don’t notice those five pounds I put on last month;
- It’s so friggin’ comfortable, I don’t ever want to take it off;
- I got a bargain!!! Discount through BA50 (10% off with code BA10)
- I bought a pair for my mom– she thought she had bought it by accident on line (see #21) and returned it without trying it on—so I’m having them send me another one! (sorry mom).
If you haven’t tried out Mariwear yet (it’s also really good for those BA50s who are dating and just might want to sleep over- but are just not sure), you should…. It won’t make you laugh, but it will give you that little happiness you get when you buy something awesome. Now that is money well spent.
Do you have mundane money questions that bother you? What bugs or confuses you about money?