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Search for marathon bombersI heard a loud loud noise last night but I was so exhausted I thought I was imagining it. My husband was snoring away, my dog didn’t bark despite a rapid repetitive explosive noise. Turns out  those were gunshots — maybe an explosion.  I went back to bed until—

My son called me – it was 2 am — “Mom, are you ok?”

“Of course”

“Big shootout in Watertown, SWAT teams everywhere — turn on CNN,” and I did. “Be safe, Mom.”

We said goodnight.

I woke my husband, we watched amazed and dazed. Surreal stuff  happening just outside our door. When we are in Boston, we live in Watertown. A lovely little bedroom community  2 miles from Harvard Square. Now shootouts, SWAT teams, killings are going on a mile from our condo.  What a week, first the Boston Marathon terror and now this.

Somehow, we fell back to sleep for a few hours until the texts started pouring in on my husband and my iPhones at 6 am. Friends were worried, family were worried. Apparently, we were really truly sleeping in a war zone in Watertown.

We turned on the TV to see the photo of Suspect #2 with a white baseball cap from Chechnya and we have come to learn he may be running around our neighborhood. Is this for real?

I don’t think the white baseball cap is going to be a defining identifier – Just sayin.

My husband who is always calm assures me that I should not worry as we are a mile away from the big shootout. How comforting.  But I walk by School Street every morning to get my yogurt.  I know better.  We live very close to last night’s shootout and we are on lockdown in this Watertown war zone.

For some reason however, I’m not scared- not scared for me — It’s all happening on TV and what i’m feeling is  irritated, angered and put out by these terrorists – and so is this city.

Frustrated by the twang noise each time a text arrived,  my husband made me turn it off. Friends were telling me not to go outside, to not go out to  exercise. No problem, We’d slept 3 hours last night – sleep is all we want right now.

But I do find it odd, that despite the live news reports, heightened alerts, swat teams a block away, I am not feeling the high alert thing. I’m thinking about Mom stuff.  What’s filling my thoughts during this morning lockdown in Watertown is — “are my boys safe?”

I’m bumming out that the boys aren’t under our roof.  Last night, we had all gotten together for a big event, and they had slept just a few miles away in either direction But, alas, they’re not here- I’m hoping  they are sleeping soundly and will rest until they have captured SUSPECT#2.

I finally realize, as I lie partially awake watching local news, that they shot one of the suspects a few blocks from our condo and  that  he had a bomb strapped to him. Now that I hear that we can’t go outside and there is a “terrorist” in the neighborhood — Now that I hear that — I am beginning to wake up to the danger outside.

But, I do have faith in our FBI and Boston police officers and I believe they will find this guy. This day will surely conclude with Suspect #2 going down — I’m certain of it. And it may happen right here, just a block away from me – right here in Watertown and that is really weird stuff. We are supposed to stay inside – there is a 19 year old out there who looks like most 19 year old boys, not evil looking, just a kid, who could have a bomb strapped to him just like his brother did.

What I am friggin pissed about is that this was the day I was spending with my boys and we haven’t all been together since December.   The city is now on total lockdown. Not belng able to see my boys who are just 5 miles away each staying with their own friends – and I can’t get to them nor they to me.  My Mom heartstrings are on heightened alert and  are pulling at me mighty hard.

Trust me, I pray that no one gets hurt capturing this terrorist – but  they better get him before dinner time. That’s my own personal selfish timeline because I want to see my boys faces at our  dinner table.

I went downstairs to check my deadbolt lock on my front door – not an impressive deterrent. I looked again at my dog, all 14 pounds of Cockapoo always ready to receive a cookie from a stranger and give them a good lick. I am listening to my husband snore and I’m wondering — Maybe it’s time to take an Ambien at 7 am – is that allowed?

Is this what a warzone feels like? My husband and I are starting to feel alone here in our foxhole. I’m hoping they capture the terrorist soon so I can see my boys and the city of Boston can begin to normalize and heal from this week of terror. I know many people have suffered and are angry as well.   My heart goes out to the police and security and people who must be  anxious and exhausted as they work overtime trying to make it safe for all us.

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