1. 488025907Slo-o-o-w-w down. It takes longer for women to warm up, and this intensifies as we get older. Men who used to count on automatic arousal also need more stimulation after midlife. Make the warm-up phase of sex play last hours… or days.
  1. Appreciate, decorate, and celebrate your body. Jewelry, lingerie, feathers, fringe, silk, velvet, candlelight–whatever looks good and feels good. If you know you look sexy, you’ll feel sexy.
  1. Learn what you like. Touch yourself to know where and how you like to be touched. Explore, experiment. If you’re partnered, communicate what you like.
  1. Do sexy things on your own to get yourself in the mood long before you get naked. Work out. Swim. Dance. Fantasize a sexy scene. Spend some time humming with a vibrator, touching yourself, reading erotica, or watching porn – or all of these.
  1. Have sex during high energy times, when your arousal is strongest, whether solo or partnered. Increase your energy with exercise before sex, which increases blood flow to your genitals (as well as to everywhere else), making arousal easier and faster.
  1. If you’re partnered, kiss and kiss. Kiss sweetly, passionately, quickly, slowly, contentedly, hungrily, lightly, sloppily. All kinds of kisses help you bond with your partner, warm up, and enjoy the moment.
  1. Explore sex toys and other erotic helpers, alone and/or with a partner. Lucky for us that sex toys are easy to find, fun to try, and wow, do they work! (Check out the 75+ sex toy reviews from a senior perspective at http://www.nakedatourage.com!)
  1. Use a silky lubricant. There are many different lubricants made specifically for sex that feel great and enhance (or bring back) the joy of friction. Make applying lubricant an erotic part of sex play.
  1. Enjoy the afterglow. If you’re partnered, indulge in quality snuggle time. Solo, don’t get back to your daily life right away – bask in your feelings of well-being.
  1. Whether you’re partnered or solo, laugh a lot. Laughter is joyful, ageless – and sexy.

Joan Price is the author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex – winner of Outstanding Self-Help Book 2012 from the American Society of Journalists and Authors (ASJA) and 2012 Book Award from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) – and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty.  Click here for her Award-winning blog about sex & aging.


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