Receive email updates from Better After 50.
A password will be e-mailed to you.

coffee talkCaawfee Talk Personality Chart:  Move over Zodiac Chart, the newest predictor of Love is brewing right here!

What kind of coffee do you brew?

Maxwell House Home Brewer: You can’t get the mantra out of your head, “Good to the last drop”. More than likely you grew up during the depression and haven’t thrown away your Sears Catalogs.

  • Maxies are simple, dedicated, not wasteful and most likely to vote for Trump.
  • Love: Maxies stick to their own kind, that is if they are still having sex.

Grind Your Own at home Coffee Brewer: Grinders are up at 5am just to get the party started. By the time the rest of the gang is up they’ve gone through a 10-cup Carafe and repeat the process at 3pm.

  • Grinders are hardworking, creative and likely have an Attention Deficit Disorder.
  • Love: Grinders make great companions as long as you are prepared for their roller coaster ride.

Keurig Brewer’s: Keuri’s are multi-taskers, who never learned the word “no” and are defecting at high rates given that the Pod along with Pampers and Twinkies are responsible for the environmental apocalypse.

  • Keuri’s are eco-friendly, philanthropic and have good intentions. Given that Keurig is cutting the chord, they’ll be visiting their therapists more often.
  • Love: Keuri’s have a difficult time committing because they always feel guilty

French Press Brewer’s: Frenchies take things slowly but are methodical about their work. The science of brewing is important given their educated background and insatiable need to learn.   Frenchies think that everyone is an ignoramus.

  • Frenchies are highly educated, consummate learners and tend to take life too seriously.
  • Love: Frenchies are closet Masochists and use “50 Shades of Grey” as their playbook.

Non-Coffee Drinkers: Abstinence is key. You’ll recognize a Nonnie right away because they have white teeth and their breath smells like Tic-Tacs.

  • Nonnies won’t touch the stuff but are willing enablers.
  • Love: Nonniess like to take control in their relationships and in bed.

Dunkin Donuts Drinkers: You are the real deal or a police officer. You don’t care for all the options. You like your coffee black or you like it with spoonfuls of sugar or sometimes you might shake it up with some cream, milk or a big fat donut.

  • Dunkiners are proud, mostly male; don’t care about their weight and love sports.
  • Love: Dunkiners talk a big game in public, but in reality they want a good meal and a snuggle. .

Starbucks Coffee Drinkers: You’ve got the lingo down and you’re fastidious about your needs. Patience is not your best virtue and more than likely you’ve pissed off the Barista and the person behind you with your 12-ingredient order.

  • Bucksters are tech savvy and always in a rush and like their names spelled correctly.
  • Love: Bucksters are lucky in love and don’t discriminate they like them Tall, Grande or Venti in size and more than likely found their significant other on Tinder.

Peets Coffee Drinkers: This place is not for the faint hearted. You are competitive whether in sports or business and you’ve got an iron stomach, tough enough for this strong brew.

  • Peeties wear tight bike shorts, fit bits and talk about their accomplishments incessantly.
  • Love: Peeties won’t date Bucksters or Dunkiners but they’ll get kinky with Frenchies.

Independent Coffee House Drinkers: Everyone here knows your name, your brew and your seat.

  • Indies are comfortable in their own skin and have nothing to prove.
  • Love: Indies take things into their own hands

Don’t miss out on any BA50 stories!
Click here to subscribe.

Caawfee Talk Personality Chart was last modified: by