Receive email updates from Better After 50.
A password will be e-mailed to you.

ThinkstockPhotos-510393197Sex can get lost in the first Black Friday of the holiday season.  The holidays can become all about this stressful rush to get to Grandma’s house, and buy those grab bag gifts for the office. Or whatever. You get the idea. The holidays which are meant to be about connection can often be filled with disconnection, especially erotically.  But, the holidays can also be a time to sex up your life if you decide to make it that. Take a clue from the mistletoe and all those fabulous fiery lights on the menorah. How about creating your own 8 or 12 crazy nights?

My plan for sexing up your holiday is all about “The Erotic Equation” which is Obstacles + Prohibition + Yearning and Anticipation = Hot desire and peek erotic experiences.

Rules of the Game:

There will be no sexual climaxes (orgasm) until the night that last candle is lit or that last package is opened under the tree. Period. This rule is very important to this game which is all about the four corners of erotic build. Remember waiting for Santa to come? Or finally lighting that candle and getting your gift. You had to wait!

1. Develop your own themed sexting app! Perhaps it’s a daily picture of a sex toy that you are buying to give your partner? A daily picture of your bottom? Or a picture of a new sexual position that you want to try? Give it a name, such as…. the #DailyLust or #12NaughtyPromises. Be creative about it!  Include enticing messages of anticipation that might be waiting to be enjoyed on that final night.

2. Go to a sex toy store together then separate. Each of you fill your basket with toys, books or videos that you are curious about.. Meet back up and look in each others basket of goodies. One at a time with no peeking at what your partner is doing; buy three things from their basket of desire that you are willing to experiment with. You should each be going home with three goodies to be shared on the final day.

3. Both partners write down all your sexy thoughts and fantasies on fabulous, colorful post-it’s or on sexy cards. You can play this game two ways; make it like an Easter Egg Hunt and you both have to search the note out….or surround each other with the notes and cards in places that you know each other will find them. Go on and be very, very naughty. Leave the post it’s and cards somewhere that each of you will find them.

4. Entice each other with sexy oral finger play. You can play this in many ways and both partners can play. Put his or her finger slowly in your mouth and make sure to keep eye contact while your tongue and mouth tease the finger. You can also put your own finger into your partners mouth. Allow yourself to express your desire and fire through your eyes. Experiment with finger licking. Try slow, and sensuous and well has hard and rough. You can set a timer and do this for five or ten minutes and I promise you will want to tear off each other’s clothing….but no. You have to wait!

5. Leave gifts of special lingerie for him or her around the bedroom with notes that say “wait until…insert appropriate holiday greeting”..

6. Read and talk about giving each other a Sexcation, such as a weekend workshop even if it means flying to another city! Or plan a private retreat. Did you know that couples have the best sex when they are go some place new together? Being in a completely new environment can really shake up your sexuality and allow you to experiment with the erotic in ways that you may not normally do at home.  Search the internet, ask friends for recommendations or contact a sex educator for finding the right “Sexcation” for you. Use the opportunity to talk about and experiment with secret fantasies,. This is an “out of your comfort zone” experience and might even feel “dangerous”. Perfect.  Feeling a little uncomfortable is what we all need for that amazing sexual adventures! But, you actually have to follow through and do it! Arrange the entire adventure and present it to your partner on that final day!  

7. Read steamy erotica to each other while stroking and groping each other through your clothing. Get really turned on and then stop. Feel the heat of desire. Moan with it.

8. Eat sexy in front of each other. Lick ice and lollipops. Suck on ripe fruit. Be suggestive and outrageous. Try doing this in public at holiday parties, or dining out.

9. Take a steamy shower or bath together.  Buy luxury soaps and bring in scrubby toys. Make it an event. Turn on the music and turn off the world. Take turns washing each other all over. Be as daring as you want. Experiment. Skin loves to be touched. Allow yourselves to make noise. A little moaning is very acceptable!

10.  Turn yourself on and then your partner on by creating a sexy photo album to give as a part of gift of the last night. Check out local Boudoir photographers and take some steamy shots. Or do it yourself. Everyone has a “Selfie” camera. Have the photos developed and published into a book. This is so easy to do as there are so many online  print-on-demand services. You will get hot creating this and gifting it to each other. Another option is to book a “Couple’s Boudoir Photo Shoot”.  Talk about sexy anticipation and holiday naughtiness. Get photos done of you stripping for each other,  in romantic poses or in role play costumes. Play!

11.  Talk about sex. Take the time to tell each other the times in the past where you have really turned each other on. Your partner may be surprised that it was a little thing or gesture that got you turned on. Boost each others egos up! Let each other know how they can melt you. Re-tell sexual experiences to each other about each other. When you actually tell your partner what is working for you,  you will inspire more creative thinking, because they will have something to work with!

12. That final night! Plan to create time together for that big finale when all of your anticipation and desire is welcome. Open the gifts during a time when you can actually use them. This may mean postponing your pleasure a little longer…but that is fine! More anticipation is never a bad thing when it comes to sexual desire and pleasure. Do this final night your way! Bring in all of the things that you created and purchased. Look at the picture album together. Read aloud the notes that you left for each other. Take out the new toys. Tall about them. Present the “Sexcation”. Savor it all. Or have it rough and tough. This final night is all yours to enjoy the fruits of your anticipation.You are allowed to explode now! Create the time for your pleasure. Be greedy. After all, it’s the holidays. It’s the perfect time to indulge in each other.

Don’t miss out on any BA50 stories!
Click here to subscribe.

How To Spice Up Your Sex Life This Holiday Season was last modified: by