I watch how women shop for clothes. I’m up close and personal these days and it’s fascinating. Thus far I’ve discovered seven shopping styles: stroller, grouch, rusher, critic, connoisseur, glutton, and twin.
The Stroller is calm and in control. She takes her time, she strolls. She knows what she likes. Because she has a good eye, she usually doesn’t require a lot of help finding things. Shopping isn’t a sport for the stroller, she’s not competitive. She doesn’t need it, but she doesn’t hate it either. The stroller knows that if she takes her time, she might find something she likes. If not, pff. Generally speaking the stroller is not impetuous or frivolous. Some times the stroller is actually pushing a stroller…The Grouch doesn’t want to be shopping. The grouch wants you to know that. The grouch isn’t a nice person and she wants you to know that, too. She has no idea what she’s looking for.She doesn’t want anyone’s help, she wants an audience, witnesses to her grouchiness. Back away from the grouch—she’s contagious.The Rusher blows in like a gust of wind. The Rusher’s always busy, a very important person. The Rusher throws a lot of things around. In her wake, stuff slips off of hangers, hangers go clattering to the ground. It’s not her fault, it’s just that she’s “clumsy.” That’s why when she slams into that display, it’s the store’s fault. The Rusher can’t make up her mind. How could a Rusher, a VIP, ever be expected to make up her mind?The Critic, nothing pleases her. She can spot things a mile away that won’t please her up close. The critic knows everything, even when she’s wrong. She’s capable of carrying on a running monologue on several things that are wrong, while critically evaluating something she isn’t even looking at. The critic is unpleasant and condescending, and she’s related to The Rusher.The Connoisseur is kind and polite. She’s a bit aloof. The connoisseur knows quality and she knows what she wants. If you try to schmooze her, she will politely put you in your place. The connoisseur knows what she’s talking about. You can trust her expertise—and if she thinks you’re ok, she may someday come to trust yours.The Glutton can be very funny. The glutton is also a bit pathetic. She wants everything. She moves through the store like a harvester, grabbing armfuls of random things. The glutton tries everything on, sometimes twice. She seems to have hours to spend harvesting. The glutton is super chatty. The glutton is self-critical. Most of the time, your safe with the glutton.The Twin walks in with an invisible someone, who contradicts everything she thinks. Every time she reaches for something, it seems like she receives a message: “No, not that.” The twin is very confused, she can’t make up her mind. You can feel the twin’s pain, she doesn’t know which one she is.