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Become a Blow Job QueenThe Blow Job—you either love it or hate it. Most men absolutely love getting a “BJ” and I suspect that many women hate giving them!

I watched Hope Springs last week and cringed at the scene with Meryl Streep giving Tommy Lee Jones a blow job.  A word of advice: Never, ever contemplate going down (on your knees) in a movie theater. You want your first time to be more relaxed, with a little preparation and enough light to see what you’re doing!

I hated the dreaded blow job for years. When pressed to perform this chore, I gave it a half-hearted attempt, no swallowing and no lingering. I operated from a place of obligation.

I’m no longer that woman! To me, a good sexual relationship embodies a mutual desire to provide pleasure. Giving oral sex, or fellatio, becomes a pleasurable act for me with someone I care about. And, I know, and expect, that he is going to spend time satisfying my sexual needs and desires as well.

I can hear some of you saying mean things under your breath, vowing not to let your partner read this. I’m sorry you feel that way. I understand your reticence and I believe you’re missing out on a fuller relationship by limiting the ways you give and receive pleasure.

Getting To Know Your Lover’s Penis

The first step to becoming a BJ Queen (a title I gave myself once) is to start by getting to know the penis. You’ve got to want to do this. If you’re repulsed it’s not going to be very pleasurable for either of you.

Learn to love the look, feel, taste and smell of the Man Organ. For you reluctant ladies, start by learning to pleasure him with your hands and then move to the oral. Learn what a gentle caress of your fingers can do and imagine your tongue doing that.  A firm grasp that evokes a moan of delight can be replicated with your lips, alone or in conjunction w/ your hand wrapped firmly (don’t squeeze too hard) around his penis. When you caress his penis what motions does he prefer, what feels good to him? This can give you an approximate idea of the technique you’ll use with your tongue and mouth in combination with your hand. See resources below for detailed instructions—for beginners and for those of us who want to add new techniques to our repertoire.

Dispelling the “You Have to Do This

  1. You do not have to take his whole penis in your mouth—although he will love you if you do! The key point here is to avoid triggering your gag reflex so you don’t throw up.
  2. You don’t have to swallow. You can do what I used to do and move quickly to the hand job to finish him off—timing is crucial here. Or, you can delicately spit into a tissue after he’s come. Decide what works for your current level of commitment to the act. He’ll be so pleased that he won’t mind.
  3. You don’t have to go all the way once you’ve started. If you’re new to blow jobs and don’t want to do too much, use this as a teaser. A bit of foreplay.  A few minutes of licking and gentle sucking, not necessarily the full plunge, can be enough to get him really hot. Then you can employ the “redirect,” move up his body with hands and tongue. Pull him on top of you or mount him while he’s hard…you’re in control at this point so do what you want.
  4. Be careful. Don’t get too rough; you’re dealing with delicate tissue. And watch out for teeth…they can hurt. That’s what got Meryl in trouble—her teeth got in the way and she scraped or bit him.  Yikes!

We aren’t born knowing how to give good head.  We have to practice. And we have to learn what our partner likes. You’ll both have a better experience if he gives you feedback. It takes a willingness to explore if you want to master the art of the blow job.

Practice, practice, practice.

Follow my suggestions and you may get your very own letter of commendation, here’s mine (names have been changed):

To Whom it may concern;

I would like to recommend my friend, Delicate Flower, for the job of “Ultimate Kisser.” I have witnessed her skills up close and personal on several occasions and have always found her ready and willing to deliver in a timely fashion.  She has great manual dexterity and a delicate touch when called for. Her firm grasp of the facts allows her to bring a task to fruition very capably.

Ms. Flower is meticulous.  She is neat and thorough, never avoiding any aspect of the job that might be called for.  She can be innovative and willing to adapt to the situation at hand. She has always been ready to perform; time and place have never presented problems for her. While I have stressed Delicate’s basic grasp of the subject matter please note that her enthusiasm and dedication to her work is a sight to behold. I believe I heard her once declare that she enjoyed her job; her exact words were, ”good to the last drop.”

Ah, sheer pleasure!

Sincerely,

Guy D. Gisborne

So tell me, what is your opinion?   Do you like giving blow jobs?

HANDY RESOURCES:

  • Passionista, The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasing a Man, by Ian Kerner.

Look for Walker’s Column next Wednesday (hump day):  Are You Having ‘Charity’ Sex?

You can find articles and more information at WalkerThornton and on Facebook

 
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