Too Sexy For My Shirt?

sex dress clothes boomerWhat does it mean when we talk about dressing for sex? Is it about wearing short, tight skirts or sporting a lacy bra under a sheer blouse? Dressing for sex is about acknowledging ourselves as sexual women—it’s about letting the world know that being over 50 isn’t an ending, it’s a beginning. A juicy, tantalizing, energizing time of life.

Sexy is a state of mind. We can be sexy at 50, 65, even 75. The secret to tapping into one’s sexuality involves feelings, attitude and, less importantly, looks. We can rock that sexy attitude wearing jeans or all dolled up with heels and hose.

If you want to dress for sex, the first step is to get your mind in the game. When I’m dressing to catch his eye I think about how I want him to react. I try and read his mind. What appeals to him, what is going to give him the kind of thoughts I want him to have? Am I interested in a playful tease or flat out seduction? Do I want him yearning to touch when he’s across the room and can’t, or do I want to ignite an immediate fire? I do this by choosing the right clothes and stepping into the attitude I want to project.

The simplest of outfits can radiate sex appeal if you’re feeling it. Maybe you’re wearing a tailored outfit for work with your sexy La Perla bra and panties underneath. It feels great, looks fabulous and makes you feel like Sophia Loren. A confident woman doesn’t need to dress like a high-class hooker in order to project her sexuality. Sexy is about attitude, how you carry yourself, the look on your face, the ease and desire that radiates from your body.

Sexy Dressing That Fits Your Style

Don’t let yourself be persuaded to dress in a way that feels unnatural for you.  If you feel awkward or overexposed, what you’ll radiate is discomfort. That’s very un-sexy. Wear outfits that suit your style, body and perception of yourself. It’s fine to step out of that box every now and then. Just be aware of your limits.  I was given a black corset  by a corset business that wanted to reach out to an older demographic. I have to admit I was a bit self-conscious—more about my weight than wearing the lingerie. The most awkward part was trying to wear the heels, something I rarely do. I settled on bare feet, with sexy red toenails. Conventional wisdom says high heels with sexy lingerie, but I needed to feel like I wasn’t teetering around. Besides, I don’t think his eyes went down to my feet.

If red makes you think “Whore” and that’s a bad thing, then don’t wear red.  Don’t let the How-to-sex-up-your-life gurus dictate your dress. You’re old enough to know what works for you. Confidence is a sexy kind of power that allows you to carry off whatever you set your mind to.

Ideas for Sex-ifying Your Look

If this is new for you and you’re reluctant to invest in sexier clothing there are things you can take from your existing wardrobe. Remember that men are visual and easily pleased. If he’s not used to seeing the sexier side of you, then you can improvise.  If his last woman was into leather and latex, you may need to go shopping.

Here are a few simple suggestions:

  • Show up in one of his shirts with just a pair of panties.
  • Do you have a low-cut bra? Or one that’s unpadded? Pair it with a form-fitting cardigan sweater, leaving a button or two unbuttoned. The goal is to let him catch a glimpse of cleavage. Or an erect nipple peeking out.
  • Sometimes all it takes to entice a man and make you feel sexy is to talk to him.  Describe your lacy demi bra or tell him you’re not wearing panties. Talk about the softness of your cashmere sweater, or the silky slip that clings to your thighs as you walk. You’ve instantly transformed your everyday clothing into something magical and fascinating. He’ll be captivated.

If you’re ready to ramp it up go lingerie shopping. Buy a lacy sheer bra or some new silky panties. Over the thigh hose are sexy but they don’t always stay up! Online lingerie shops offer a wide range of sexy clothing, from the tasteful to the downright slutty.

Over the last couple of years I’ve added a few low-cut tops to my wardrobe. One or two are racy enough that I have to feel the moment is right. Which means I do not wear them to dinner with my mother or at professional meetings.  I pair them with the right bra, a little lipstick, and I feel like one hot babe. Flashing a little cleavage, even at our age, is just fine. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.

Whatever you decide to do—buying red F-Me pumps or replacing the old cotton panties—you are as sexy as you feel. Put yourself in the mood. Give your body some attention, love it, and show it off. For yourself or for a man, I guarantee you the thrill you get from dressing sexy will make it worth the effort.

Walker Thornton blogs at www.awomenspage.com.

  16 comments for “Too Sexy For My Shirt?

  1. January 15, 2013 at 7:18 am

    “A confident woman doesn’t need to dress like a high-class hooker in order to project her sexuality.” I love this. I’ve fallen into that trap before, and you are so spot on about how the way we carry ourselves has a lot more to do with sex appeal than our clothing. It’s good to be reminded.

    • January 15, 2013 at 9:02 am

      Thanks Jennifer…. I think it’s all about feeling it and projecting it naturally.

  2. January 15, 2013 at 9:05 am

    Great article, especially the part about getting your mind into the game. With all the busyness we have in our lives, it helps to remind ourselves that we need to think sexy to feel sexy. Thanks, V

    • January 15, 2013 at 5:35 pm

      Thanks Virginia. It is amazing how powerful the mind is when it comes to sexy…or anything else.

  3. January 15, 2013 at 9:43 am

    Fantastic article, and so smart about staying true to our own comfort levels. My husband tells me that one of the sexiest things he loves about me is my confidence. I don’t feel confident in stilettos, so I don’t wear them. This isn’t rocket science, although a lab coat from NASA with nothing on underneath might be enticing….

    • January 15, 2013 at 5:36 pm

      Ha! I don’t do heels either… The Lab coat sounds interesting…my version of the pink dress shirt?

      • Victoria
        January 15, 2013 at 10:48 pm

        Sometime heels change the way you walk, mine anyways.men notice me more when I’m in heels.

  4. January 15, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Great article. My anniversary is this Friday and I’ve been thinking about wearing something I wore long ago. And that is NOTHING under a long coat.
    BTW, my husband just told me that hair and nipples are sexy.

    • January 15, 2013 at 5:37 pm

      Oh Janie,
      You go girl. Sounds like a killer idea to me. Don’t know what it is about guys and nipples, but they’re a universal thing.

      • Lisa C
        January 18, 2013 at 11:32 am

        Some people say that men love boobs because they’re trying to get back into the womb. Ha, ha. It’s a source of comfort for them, especially if they were breastfed.

        • January 21, 2013 at 9:39 am

          Lisa I’ve heard that too. Maybe? Who knows…There are lots of me who are like the rear view as well…. Guess it’s all about preference. When I’m looking at a man I tend to notice eyes, smile, hands and then look at body!

    • Victoria
      January 15, 2013 at 10:41 pm

      Janie,
      Pease ask your husband if wigs are ok.

  5. Lisa C
    January 18, 2013 at 11:30 am

    This is a great article. Red is my favorite color. Not only has it been proven to attract men, it makes me look great.

    You’ve hit the nail on the head, Walker. It’s about projecting confidence. The brain is your strongest sex organ. If you’re feeling like a million bucks, guys will take notice.

    Your posture and making good eye contact are essential to feeling sexy. At our age, we should feel a whole lot more in control of our bodies and our sex lives. If not, talk to a counselor, read a self-help book or join a support group that discusses self esteem. You are the master of your destiny. Choose the man you want to date, don’t sit around and let him pick you.

    • February 7, 2013 at 12:44 pm

      Thanks Lisa. Love that you know what makes you feel confident.

  6. kath
    May 31, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    Love this article i feel sexier in my fifties than i ever have and its because i am more confident and love the effect it has on men

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