I Am Not That Fat Girl

I Am Not That Fat GirlGrowing up, I was the fat girl with red hair, braces, divorced parents, not an athletic bone in my body.  Boys were always making fun of me for my excessive weight and clumsiness.  I was too fat to do this and I was certainly too fat to do that.  I remember being challenged and “dared” to do things by “my good friends,” only to be set up to look stupid.  My mother dressed me in the worst clothes possible–or maybe they were the only clothes available for a girl my size.  If you remember Sears “Garanimals,” you remember these polyester fashion disasters were not kind to kids of a certain size.

And for the next 40 years I allowed myself to be defined by that overweight, emotionally neglected little girl.  Most of my important life decisions were limited by the idea that I was not good enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not strong enough, not accepted enough to participate in a fulfilling, rewarding life.  Please don’t get me wrong, I am totally blessed.  This is not a pity party — this is truly a fabulous revelation.  Everything that has happened to me in my past has brought me to exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I am proud of my past, I appreciate my past, I value my past, I AM NOT MY PAST.

It wasn’t until I started my life coaching practice at age 48 that I finally realized that I am no longer that fat, stupid kid.  In fact, I am quite the opposite.  I may not be a size 8 or even a 10, but I am happy.  My strengths, gifts, talents, blessings are not determined by my weight or my IQ.  They are determined by my values, morals and trust in God.

Up until the age 48, I allowed myself to be that scared, uncertain girl, but no longer.  In the second half of my life, I have learned so much about myself and my hidden treasures.  I know in my heart that I have the ability, strength, determination to support my business, my full-time job, manage a home, volunteer, and nourish my family and friends.

If you share any of my childhood struggles, you need to know that you are no longer that child.  I am not.  Through hard work, countless self-help books and programs, therapy, and coaching, I’ve become a resilient grown up.

We are all works in progress.  I continue to work on myself every single day.   I will be honest, I did not come to the realization until recently.  I was working on a new coaching program, when it suddenly came to me that the person I was in my first half does not have to be the person I am in my second half.

During the first half of our lives,  there may have been obstacles — our needs, desires, ambitions were squashed and rejected by others or because of our own limiting beliefs, or feelings of unworthiness.  So we never took advantage of apparent possibilities.  Now in our second half we can.

We all have an opportunity for a second chance – this is a crucial time to decide if our lifestyle promotes a stimulated mind, an active body and a fulfilled spirit.

In our hearts, we know what issues need our utmost attention.  We know our strengths, weaknesses, and self-imposed limitations. We know what assets to be proud of and what areas need to change.

Right now, I’m concentrating on:

  • Who am I being right now?
  • What action can I take RIGHT NOW that will be for my highest good?
  • What commitment am I willing to take?
  • What impact will my actions have in my life and the life of my family in the long term?

Remember, everything that has happened in your life has led you to this very moment.  Right now is the perfect time and the perfect place to begin…to do whatever you choose to do, and you have every ability to get it right this time.  Why?  Because it’s about time and it’s about YOU!

Nancy’s website is www.coachnancylundy.com and her blog is www.coachnancylundy.com/blog

Nancy Lundy

Nancy Lundy is a certified coach working with mid-lifers entering the blessed time of transition. She provides clients with a safe place to be heard and have their dreams validated. Nancy will always be a work in progress, but right now, she is the happiest she's ever been. 

  2 comments for “I Am Not That Fat Girl

  1. January 16, 2013 at 7:31 am

    My past was similar to yours. Today, I have four young adults out there, all raised on the “right now” philosophy that you discuss, to the point where they finish the sentence: “I know, up or down, for better or worse, it’s just right now.” If there’s anything to be said for the sad stretches you describe, it is in how they qualify us to pass on vital life lessons. Thank you for encouraging us to pay attention as we overwrite the old data every day with the new.

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