Where Did My G-Spot Go?

Remember when finding your G-Spot was all the rage?  The term was coined in 1981 after the German gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg who discovered this sensitive area back in 1950.  I’m not quite sure how he came upon this discovery and there was much dispute as to its actual existence.

But nonetheless, the concept of this erogenous zone sent the female population on a search that for some ended in elation and for others in confusion and disappointment.

Did you find yours?  Yes!  And it was wonderful.  Did you?  NO. Is there something wrong with me?  Where exactly is this spot?

It wasn’t like finding a city on a map with an an exact longitude or latitude to go by.  Why, even today’s new GPS systems wouldn’t have been much help back then.

According to Dr. G., the spot is about one to three inches inside the vagina, on the anterior wall.  Stimulation can lead to high levels of sexual arousal and powerful orgasms.

I can’t say that I ever did find mine, but it didn’t make sex any less enjoyable.  Thirty years with the same man has a monopoly on that.

Sex has passed quietly from a “have-to-have-it” thing into a pleasurably “making-love” event when the kids were asleep and has since evolved into “cuddling with benefits.”

So, for years I haven’t even thought about my G-Spot. Until just the other day when I smacked head-on into another important G word: Gravity.

I’m sure my “spot” is still there, but just as the terrain of the earth has shifted due to forces of nature, gravity may have moved it a few inches from where it used to be.

Face it–that G word–Gravity, has a mind of its own.  And like it or not, it eventually pulls on all of us. Making us a few inches shorter, a little wider, a little slower as we grow older.  Our skin starts to sag, joints creak and those perky body parts start to droop.

The marketing world has latched onto us so-called “gravity-affected” women and is taking us for a spin into the world of anti-products, with the same accelerated frenzy with which we rode the G-Spot craze.

We’re bombarded with anti-aging, anti-gravity, anti-wrinkles, anti-stress, anti- “who-we-really-are” products.

Ads proclaim that 40 is the new 20, 50 is the new 30.  Well, I had kids in my thirties and I’m not about to do that again.  Certainly not at the age I really am.  Even if there is some anti-product to keep my eggs from drying up.

Like it or not, we need gravity to keep us planted on the ground, otherwise we’d be floating around in space.  Come to think of it, that could be quite an adventure, looking for our G-Spots while having sex, hanging upside down.

But seriously, our muscles would weaken, our bones would become brittle.  And we’d need more than just some over-the-counter products to keep us looking young and fit.

So for now, I’ll do my best to work with what Gravity is giving me and concentrate more on those G-words which give me pleasure:

Giggles…Granola…Grandma…Gorgeous…Goodness…Google…Great…Golf….

Janie Emaus

Janie Emaus is the author of the time travel romance, Before the After and the young adult novel, Mercury in Retro Love. She is a staff writer at www.inthepowderrroom and blogs frequently for The Huffington Post ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janie-emaus/), Janie believes that when the world is falling apart, we’re just one laugh away from putting it together again. To learn more about Janie visit her blog www.theboomerrants.com and her website www.janieemaus.com 

  36 comments for “Where Did My G-Spot Go?

  1. November 13, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    Great Goodness Glee, Gracias Janie!

    • November 14, 2012 at 2:38 am

      Thanks Haralee,
      What more can I say!

  2. November 14, 2012 at 6:47 am

    What fun. The g-spot isn’t all that pleasurable for me, so I don’t focus on it. A past lover gave me a g-stop vibrator but…. He’s gone, I got the toy but like him, it’s not quite what I want.

  3. Tina
    November 14, 2012 at 10:00 am

    How about generous gobbles of gingerbread? Wonderful blog, Janie! Or should I say, “great?”

  4. Carol A. Cassara
    November 14, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Thank you for shedding light on this! :-)

    • November 14, 2012 at 7:32 pm

      No problem. It was quite a fun experiment.

  5. November 14, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    Hey Janie, maybe your G-spot will be easier to find, now that gravity is taking its toll? LOL – just a thought! Great post!

    • November 14, 2012 at 7:32 pm

      I might just find it on the floor!

  6. November 14, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Thanks for the morning smiles over coffee, Janie. :)

    • November 14, 2012 at 7:33 pm

      You’re welcome. I’m glad I could make you smile.

  7. November 14, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    Thoughtful essay with some funny business. Good job, Janie.
    Speaking of gravity, I was just measured for my holiday costume at work. The numbers are horrifying.

    • November 14, 2012 at 7:33 pm

      What is your holiday costume? Can I come work with you. It sounds fun.

      • November 15, 2012 at 8:48 am

        Won’t know what costume is until it arrives. Sure you can work there. They always need help. It would be fun to work with you.

  8. November 14, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    Ahhhh…the collision of the G-forces.

    Since it’s near Thanksgiving, allow me to add “Gravy” to your list.

    Great post!

    • November 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm

      And Gobble. And I word I just love is gyration. I try to use it at least once in every story I write.

  9. November 14, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    grins…Glamour…grapes…girly girl…GLITTER

    • November 14, 2012 at 7:36 pm

      I’ll add your words to my list with Gusto!

  10. Jeri
    November 14, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Gee, Janie, gratitude for a great post. You do have the ‘Gift of Gab’. As for me, graviity has had a farther reaching effect than that other G-spot. And it really is much easier to find- in fact, I wasn’t even looking for it.

  11. Jeri
    November 14, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Gee, Janie, gratitude for a great post. You sure do have the ‘Gift of Gab’. As for me, gravity has had a far-more far-reaching effect than that other G-spot. It was really easy to find, too- didn’t even have to look for it.

  12. November 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    G-whiz, that was a gifted, great, gratifying, gargantuan post!

    So funny…as usual.

  13. November 14, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    Terrific blog! My favorite G word is GLAMOROUS!

  14. Kathleen
    November 15, 2012 at 11:35 pm

    This blog really made me giggle! My how times have changed since talking about the “G spot” and sex was such a 20 something all consuming conversation with my girlfriends. Those times were just never going to end. Now in our 40’s our conversations revolve around kids, school activities, and gee…did you really have to get up that early to help finish their homework?! G…times have changed

    • November 20, 2012 at 12:55 am

      And pretty soon it turns to college applications, that empty nest and baby proofing for grandchildren.

  15. November 16, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Great essay, Janie. As far as I know, I never had a G-spot. But even if I did, I suspect it would now be Gone!

    • November 17, 2012 at 1:20 am

      Perhaps. But maybe it has just been gliding around.

  16. November 17, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    Great article. Very funny.
    And in alignment with the Pro-Age Revolution!
    Its about women. It’s about beauty. It’s about time!

    • November 18, 2012 at 10:48 am

      Cindy – It is about time, isn’t it? Thanks for stopping by.

      • November 18, 2012 at 7:35 pm

        You are a really great writer. I love your humor. Where are you from?

        • November 18, 2012 at 9:51 pm

          Thanks, Cindy. I am from Southern California. How about you?

          • November 19, 2012 at 10:31 am

            I am in Yonkers, NY. Just 30 north of NYC.
            How did you end writing for Felicia here at Better After 50?
            She published something of mine and asked for more, but I am just too busy! And with writers like you, it is more fun for me to read! :-D
            Do you write for a living?

  17. ConfusedAfter50
    December 27, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Thanks for the article, I always wondered where the “G” spot is! Being single any contact at all is a “G” spot!

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